


What Did You Do?

by Telaryn



Category: Leverage
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, Confusion, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Feelings, First Kiss, Honesty, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, Revelations, Secrets, Truth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-15 02:11:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5767318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telaryn/pseuds/Telaryn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of the San Lorenzo Job, Eliot realizes that he's been using Damien Moreau and the challenge of bringing him down to avoid his growing feelings for a crazy, blond-haired thief.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Did You Do?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SmoothDoggie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmoothDoggie/gifts).



> Written for your #2 prompt - Eliot struggles with his growing feelings for Parker, and whether or not he deserves to be happy in any kind of serious relationship.
> 
> I hope you had fun - thank you for playing with us this year!

_”What did you do?”_

_“Don’t ask me that, Parker. Because if you ask me, I’m gonna tell you. So please…don’t ask me.”_

Eliot had stayed at the party as long as he could trust himself. The team had a lot to celebrate after all – taking down a force like Damien Moreau against all conceivable odds was worth a two or three day binge celebration all on its own. The fact that Nate was a free man again, and the others had looked into the eyes of the man Eliot used to be and declared that it was his choice how he wanted to go forward was icing on a very rich cake.

And like a very rich cake, a little had ended up going a very long way for the hitter. Letting Nate know that he needed a break from all the noise and people, Eliot had retreated to the roof shortly after midnight. He briefly considered going home, but after the stress of the previous handful of weeks the idea of being apart from any of his team threw his still-tenuous emotional balance completely out of whack.

_”What did you do?”_

“Fuck,” he breathed, running faintly trembling hands through his hair – pushing it back off his face. He’d already confessed his greatest sin to Nate, and been absolved as far as any human authority could. The others seemed to have decided for themselves that his past had no bearing on the man they knew, that whatever he’d done before didn’t matter.

Even Hardison, who’d almost drowned because of the man Eliot used to be, had forgiven him and seemed to be willing to pretend that nothing untoward had ever happened.

_”What did you do?”_

When had he started to care? When had the opinion of this motley crew of misfits started to matter to him more than anything?

 _Why did the idea of telling Parker the truth about what he’d done panic him so completely?_ Not telling her scared him almost as much. Early on, he’d promised himself that he was never going to lie to Parker. It was why he’d begged her to give him the out back in Washington, but it wasn’t until that moment that he understood lies of omission were no different than outright falsehoods to the thief. She wouldn’t push because he’d asked her not to, but she would never think of him the same way either.

And that awareness was eating away at him in ways he’d never expected.

Walking over to the parapet wall, Eliot leaned on his forearms, letting the night air and the noise and smell of the city wash over him as he tried to quiet his thoughts. His life was moving into completely uncharted territory – for one of the first times in his adult life he believed he could genuinely be happy.

Which left the question of whether or not he deserved to be happy completely up for debate.

He couldn’t have sworn the moment he knew he wasn’t alone anymore, but now that he had the sense of her he couldn’t ignore it. “I’m okay, Parker,” he said quietly, ducking his head. “Go back to the party.”

She came up on him out of the shadows, still making no sound even though the force of her personality was like a physical weight pressing in on him. “You don’t look okay,” she said, mirroring his pose. “You didn’t look okay at the party either. Aren’t you happy that we beat Damien Moreau? You said he was a bad guy.”

“Parker…”

“Nate and Sophie said I should give you space,” she went on, “but you’ve never needed space from me, even when you were angry at everybody. I’m just worried that you’re mad at me, that I did something wrong, and…”

She wasn’t expecting him to move – it was the only reason he was able to catch her by the arm and pull her in close enough to kiss. He heard her surprised squeak, but she didn’t struggle or pull away. She tasted like chocolate, and this close he could smell mingled amber and sweat on her skin. It was heaven, and more than anything Eliot knew he hadn’t earned the right to be here.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as their lips parted. “I shouldn’t have done that…I should have asked first…I…” Forcing himself to meet her eyes, he let the words at the heart of everything that had him knotted up inside tumble from his lips. “I’m starting to have feelings for you, Parker. Very strong feelings, and I don’t know if that’s okay or not?”

Saying the words didn’t help – they only drove home how much of an emotional mess he’d let himself become. Parker only tilted her head to the side, studying him closely as she seemed to process what he’d said. “Are you talking about sex or love?” she asked.

Eliot sighed. “Love. I think I’d be dealing with it better if it was just sex.”

She smiled at that. “Good. I’ve always liked how you think about sex. Love, though…” Her expression sobered again. “That’s messier, isn’t it?”

“A lot,” Eliot agreed, nodding. “Especially if you don’t feel the same way about me.”

He didn’t want her to think he was pushing her for an answer, so when Parker didn’t say anything right away, Eliot was perversely relieved. Finally she looked at him again, her gaze uncertain. “I don’t know if I love you or not,” she said. “I know you’re important to me. My life is so much better with all of you, but I don’t know if that’s love?”

Painfully aware of the thief’s boundary issues, on the heels of having violated them, Eliot simply nodded. “Will you be mad if I don’t love you?” she asked.

He would have laughed at the tragedy of it all, if her expression hadn’t suddenly been so earnest. “Parker,” he said gently, “do you know why you and I work so well together?”

She shook her head. “It’s because we’re honest with each other. It’s the same reason things work so well with the others. You’re honest with us, and we’re honest with you. I don’t want to lose that, no matter what either of us may or may not feel for the other.”

_”What did you do?”_

Aware that he was likely getting ready to regret everything he’d said, Eliot nevertheless pressed on. “Back in Washington…” he began, “I asked you not to push me about something I did for Damien Moreau.”

To his amazement, Parker reached out to him, covering his hand with her own. “Nate and Sophie told me. They said that you would never do anything like that again.”

Eliot was rocked by the revelation. In confessing his sin to Nate, he’d given the mastermind tacit permission to share what he’d done with the rest of the team. He couldn’t in any scenario picture Nate and Sophie together having told Parker the whole truth, though. “You trust them?”

Parker shrugged. “I trust you.”

“If you have any questions…” Eliot studied her for a long moment, terrified to think that it might be just this simple.

The thief shook her head. “Like I said – I trust you.”

And just like that, it was enough.


End file.
